we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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