Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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