I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.