My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball