things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?