i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize