This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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