Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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