Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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