I seem to have left my pride at pride
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
