after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
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Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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