Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
