I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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