I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
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