i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
