Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He did a backflip because drugs
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
