Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
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Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize