real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the condom got lost in my hair
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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