how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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