I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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