dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.