I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.