he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.