I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.