No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder