Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
