How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?