I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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