The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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