i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
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No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
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I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You are a genius and a whore.
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