so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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