Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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