I wish life had little blips of pornography
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
