For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
