some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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