so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
