ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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