He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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