Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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