after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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