dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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