the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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