omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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