"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
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And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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