there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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