hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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