Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
