I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
