She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
