I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
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There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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