last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
NoShamevember. You game?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
