I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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