can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
