What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I need to sanitize my soul.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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