your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize