I love black thongs
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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