She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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