These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
